Savannah is my Second 1st Dog 🐕

My dog doesn't know this

But she's healing my inner child in ways unimaginable

The truth is... she isn't my first dog

I got my first dog when I was 12 🥺💔

Here's the Story ⬇️

My little brother, mom, and I were coming out of a Food for Less in West Covina, CA

There was a woman with a shopping cart full of "Free Puppies"

I asked my mom if I could have one for my 8th grade graduation present!

She said "yes but you are fully responsible for taking care of it..."

I was 12 but obviously I said "OF COURSE I WILL THANK YOU"

And we walked away with what would become one of the most traumatic experiences of my life.

We went to the petstore...

We didn't buy a crate.

We didn't take the dog to a vet.

We didn't look for any training resources.

Got the cheapest bag of kibble we could afford, some potty training pads, toys, a flat collar and leash...

It screamed in a cardboard box in my room the first night and I didn't sleep.

Then we moved it to the laundry room...

It destroyed 2 different homes we had... pooping and peeing inside...

With us rubbing it's nose in its poop everytime we got home... surely that had to work! (Don't EVER DO THIS)

Eating a hole through a wall in the second home.... A home my mom was renovating to sell.

It was a basket case & we all hated the dog.

I would come home from school and I never wanted to take the dog out because it wouldnt walk nicely on a leash so we would just let it run around the backyard.

Pooping everywhere, ruining the lawn, digging holes...

Then I would lock it in the laundry room because it was out of control otherwise

I was very young and I don't remember much else other than

The dog was euthanized within its first year for allegedly having parvo/distemper

Whether or not the dog was sick is debatable.. although it didnt get vaccinated so its possible.

My mom is a sociopath and pathologist liar... this is just one example of the environment I grew up in. Maybe the dog was sick, but if true that would be her fault too.

Caramel Latte was her name... named after one of my favorite beverages, her coat was literally the color of silky drizzly caramel. She had a polka dotted tongue and brown eyes.

A lab/rottweiler/chow mix according to the lady giving her away.

After that incident I swore I would never have a dog again... totally traumatized 😞

I still get very choked up thinking about this because I can't help but feel some kind of responsibility for the dog's outcomes

If not responsibility, sheer sadness. I'll always remember the sweet puppy I took home.

I'll always remember holding her on my lap in the car

I'll always remember a few of the walks I tried taking her on...

And I'll never forget the way I locked her in the laundry room... screaming for attention. Screaming for help. Screaming for a responsible owner...

Screaming until she got put down.

It haunts me and shatters my heart to this day.

It took a lot of healing and inner work to commit to trying again in my adult life.

To convince myself that this wasn't my fault. That I was set up to fail by a sociopath who looks at animals as disposable commodities...

An irresponsible human who doesnt deserve to have dogs... and definitely shouldn't have had children.

This is just a small glipse into 1 year of my childhood...

In 2016, I moved into my 1st solo apartment in Lombard, Illinois. I was on the 5th floor and had a view of a huge field that sat between my community and the one next to us.

Everyday, 2x a day, this family would take their Golden Retriever and a Goldendoodle out for walks. They were calm and confident on-leash, they never ran away off-leash, the owner never had to chase them down or yell at them. These were two impeccably trained dogs and I could see how much fulfillment this family had...

How much joy they had together, no matter the weather, rain, snow, or shine...

I watched them do their thing for 4 years.

Meanwhile I was at one of the lowest points of my life. Struggling with my finances, living in an area I truly didn't feel at-home in, battling to make ends meet, mentally unwell, struggling with ED...

But watching these dogs always gave me a glimmer...

Like a little bit of their joy was washing over me every time...

I decided I wanted a dog. I wasn't ready yet though. I was broke, lived in a non-pet friendly apartment, and I absolutely couldn't imagine walking my dog in Chicago winters (kudos to all my clients and the owners out there who do this - you are way better than I am!)

20 years after Caramel Latte was put down, I had moved to Jacksonville, Florida, and I finally got the courage to make a deposit on my second 1st dog... a Goldendoodle.

I spent a year researching her breeds mix, and purely positive training techniques so I could raise a well-behaved dog. I was READY with a crate, harness, treats, chews, potty pads, tons of toys, and history was NOT going to repeat itself

3 days into life together she bit me and I bled.

She would go on and escalate to full blown resource guarding, handler aggression, leash reactivity, and make me rethink EVERYTHING.

She was worse than Caramel Latte ever was... she was demanding, pushy, and she controlled our entire lives.

I couldnt even take my work calls without tiring her out with play and exercise first, so I could be sure that she would sleep through them... I had to whisper in my house or else she would wake up and bark/whine for attention.

My trauma resurfaced and I started wondering

Is it ME?

or maybe there really was something wrong with her?

Maybe I'm really not meant to have a dog. Maybe I actually CAN'T handle it.

But this time was different

I was old enough to make better choices

I was old enough to get help and try new things

And most importantly probably, I had money. I was a successful Corporate Project Manager working in the Tech Industry. I was not rich by any means but I was paid.

I had to make sacrifices for luxuries in life to prioritize training... but I did it. I stopped buying things I didn't need and started budging that money for dog training classes.

Unfortunately I wasted over $2,000 on ineffective dog training at a local rewards-based balanced center

But I was still committed and I'm glad i did it.

Because all of my journey led me to becoming the dog trainer I am today...

and I know

The only reason Caramel Latte didn't live a long, happy go fluffy, joyful life with our family

Is because my mother is an irresponsible owner.

Every kid wants a puppy

And every adult wants a well behaved dog

It is not a child's responsibility to train and raise a dog

It's the adult's responsibility

If the adult's don't want to raise & train a puppy into a well-behaved adult dog...

Don't bring home a puppy for your kid.

You need to say NO.

Don't bring home a puppy or rescue a dog if you don't have thousands of dollars laying around to get it vet care, and invest in adequate training.

Not just a couple cheap puppy classes... because if/when that doesn't work, you're going to need MORE.

Training a dog effectively can cost a lot of money, especially if you are working with a dog trainer who doesn't teach you how to train your own dog (which was my case at the center we went to for almost a year).

Maybe not obviously, BUT if you don't care to train your dog or do the work, it won't matter who you pay, you'll still have a poorly behaved dog!

So just say "NO."

Your kid might hate you for it temporarily BUT

It won't compare to the trauma you will cause by saying "YES" and committing your family to something YOU cannot commit to.

Puppy training is not for children. It's for the adults.

And it's up to the adults to teach the children.

I'm an amazing dog owner. No thanks to my parents

I don't work with families who have given up without trying or doing the right things like investing in veterinary care and educating themselves. I don't work with families who have rehomed a dog either.

Many families would have given up on Savannah... she was aggressive & reactive!

I'm SURE my mom would have put her down.

It would be easy to say she had genetic defects when really she just had no training.

And yes she would probably have gotten sick if it weren't for making sure she got her vaccines... parvo can live on the ground for up to 7 years.

I know many adults do exactly what my mom did.

Push their adult responsibilities onto children.

Forcing kids to grow up too soon and using "tough love" to teach them a lesson

There was no lesson learned except for that my mom a terrible, irresponsible, human who would rather set an innocent puppy up for failure and risk putting them down instead of upset her kid in the moment.

We couldn't afford a dog...

We could barely afford to take care of ourselves at the time...

She couldn't commit to training it...

I was 12 and tried my best with the resources I had available to me (none)...

I hope one day all these kids who are being traumatized by their parent's irresponsible decisions.

Find the courage to try again when they are ready 💖

Because Savannah is the best thing that's ever happened to me

She heals me more and more everyday

Because I did all the right things and I never gave up on finding the answers we were looking for.

She is my soul dog

My second 1st Dog 🐕

The picture here was taken at 4mo, after I finally got her a prong collar and was able to walk her for the first time without her lunging at me and biting me aggressively.

...

RIP Caramel, you will always be in my heart and on my mind... wishing I could have saved you 💔